Personal Skype Entertainer

So a close friend of mine has recently been mulling over the idea of launching a website where folks can sell themselves as Entertainers and use Skype to contact people and bring some fun into peoples lifes.

We decided to act out the recruitment process.

Hitman:I am afraid to inform you that you have not been chosen as the Personal Skype Entertainer for our company. We wish you all the luck and sucess in your future role.

Me: I am writing to express my utter disbelief that you have not considered me for you role as Personal Skype Entertainer. I feel I have all the skills required to be a success at this role, and have been left with no other choice than to take this matter to my solicitor. See you in court

Hitman: i sincerely hope that this matter will not be escalated to a court case. The reasons behind your rejection from our selection process were the excessive demands that you were making in relation the the benefits offered with the position. In light of the credit crunch, there benefits are not available. We hope you understand our plight.

Me: I dont believe my demands were substantial, infact I firmly believe that I was within my rights to demand 'groupies' as part of the benefits package. At present I am in deep negociatings with my solisitor, and we shall be presenting our case to the European high tribuinal. I feel I have been treated injustly. If we can arrange a out of courts sentiment then I am willing to drop the case.

Hitman: Seeing as though our company has not even formed yet...i believe you deep negociations will all be in vein. We have no money, we have no 'groopies' ...all that we have so far are some ideas in a pipeline. My lawyers are currently working on the Dwain Chambers case and will be available to talk from tomorow. We will be in touch.

Anyone want to be a Skype Entertainer?

The Hero Priory

So I'm having a discussion with a pal, and we both realise that there is a gap in the market, a void which hasn't been addressed. In today's society, we have heroic characters on all sorts of different levels, some are born heroes, some become heroes out of free will, others are thrust into it. What happens to these guys when time catches up with them and they are no longer able to spike their hair to perfection, use the latest street ebonics to look smooth with their pals? Or one day wake up to find that theyve lost the ability to kit up their cars. Where do these guys go for inspiration, surely the life of a hero is riddled with insecurity, and based on social acceptance. People who go about their lives oblivious of heroes have their own problems, problems that over the time of evolution have been addressed, in the form of doctors, clinics, and the like.

Heroes need a refuge too. Clinics designated to help these fella's. Specialist advisers who are trained in knowing how a heroes mind works, and what can be done to inject those old thought patterns and resurrect a hero. Show him the days when he used to be a man capable of lighting up a room with his fluorescent designer gear and talking with such a zeal that even the hardened gangster from the tough streets of down town new york would be left in awe. Bring back the days when he could walk up to a group of girls and just say 'eh'yo' and have them all eating out of his hand. Show him the light to the good times.

Ive seen too many heroes stuck in their past glories, and like a ex heavyweight champion they long to be back in the ring at the height of their profession. The Hero priory - A sanctuary for societies special ones.

Blanket coverage

So a pal of mine was late, leaving me stranded with nothing better to do than read the news paper that gets aggressively slung in your direction as you enter the tube station. Skimming through the pages, I come to the part where people leave messages to ones that have caught their attention, and due to approach anxiety they found themselves dwelling on what could have been. Recently I have observed there has been an increasing amount of messages left for Asian (Indian/Pakistani) girls.

‘To the pretty Indian girl with got on at waterloo you were reading blah blah’.

Asian girls are notoriously difficult to approach so I can share the apprehension of these loveless souls, …but, wouldn’t it be a fantastic idea if one was to do a ‘blanket coverage’ and submit a rather vague yet picture perfect image of someone and get inundated with replies from a bevy of brown beauties?

‘You were Indian/Pakistani girl, lovely eyes, long dead straight dark hair, very cute, with black, almost funeral like, clothes on and you were reading, I was the guy at the other end of the train who wished he asked you out. Get in touch x’

Thank me later fellas.

Well folks, its been a long and treacherous journey, one that has be crossed over mucky waters, trodden on many egos and sliced up many heroes along the way. Here I am, on a blog, a online diary of the trails and tribulations of the budgmiester.

Now.. depending at the angle at which you are coming from, you may know of me as a either a visionary, or just another fella attempting to divulge in social commentary. Regardless, you are here for a reason, *..let that reason be love - Boyzone* and for that I am grateful.

For those of you who are thinking "who is the budgmiester?!" and "..what can he do for me?".. well folks, if the truth be known I have the capability of taking you on a reality roller coaster, a ride which isn't greeted by smiling happy faces, but ones that embelish the brutality of truth.

The budgmiester.